I am a polyamorous queer cisgender woman, and nearly half of all the lovers I’ve had have been transgender.
I take this as a compliment: like everyone I make mistakes, but I figure I’m doing something right if so many trans* people have chosen to welcome me into their hearts.
But respecting your partner’s changing identity is key to maintaining a healthy relationship, and my girlfriend has been learning to embrace her partner’s feminine identity as it develops alongside their masculine identity. Correct people who misgender your partner I run into this issue a lot, because my partner uses they/their/them pronouns, and many people are not familiar with using the singular they as a gender-neutral pronoun for people they know. I talk about my partner with the correct pronouns, but most everyone knows I’m queer and automatically uses “she” to refer to them because they think I only date female-identified people.
Sometimes this happens with people I’ve only just met.
Ask a few close friends, “would you theoretically date me based on this profile?
Without them, you will end up posting a photo with kale in your teeth, or where there is clearly a dog using the restroom in the background. Attend events specifically targeted towards lesbians like you.
Recently, though, they have started to identify as transgender.
If you’re a tech-savvy gay or lesbian dater, you’ll love Zoosk.
Keeping in mind that I’ve by no means covered every topic, here’s what I’ve learned about being a good cis partner to trans people I date. Recognize that your partner’s identity may change over time This is important to keep in mind even if you’re dating a cis person, because anyone can discover something new about their gender identity.
I’m dating a cis woman whose partner of nearly a year identified as a cis man for most of their relationship.
Whatever you think might happen in the next few paragraphs, or in the next few months, expect less.
Spend quite a bit of time agonizing over the photos and your description and hobbies.